The pounds aren’t melting off like they once did, but I’m still losing weight. My doctor was pleased to see my progress. Now that I’m starting to eat more foods, I have to be careful to add good stuff before bad. For instance, some potato chips, left over from watching football Sunday, are staring at me seductively from across the room.
My most recently added food was bananas. Next is another fruit or a vegetable. NOT delicious salty-finger-licking-good fatty fried goods. *sigh*
Well, things had really improved last week, and I was hopeful. After nine days of zero weight gain, Ainsley gained weight beautifully- eight whole ounces in a week (5-7 is ideal)- and her digestion appeared better. However, I could tell that her digestive issues were worse this week. My fears were confirmed when she was weighed today- she’s gained zero ounces since the last visit.
Author’s aside: enjoy that I’ve done what I must do with all data- I made the obligatory nerdy spreadsheet. Note that she’s sadly behind her ideal weight gain curve, which I have set at the lowest acceptable part of the range.
The visit today was for a feeding study, and it revealed what I’d already suspected: she’s a lazy eater. Early on, she was having problems with coughing, and that led her to slow down her eating. Her suck reflex never really developed.
The good news is that we can correct it. The bad news is that she’s a bit older and it’ll be hard for her to unlearn her bad habit. The worse news is that this new routine will require even more time and effort on my part. At least I’m no longer at my wit’s end and feeling like I’m failing, on the verge of tears all the time.
The excellent news is that the nurse commended me on all of my efforts so far (SCWOB diet, nursing techniques, feeding schedules, et cetera) and said that if I hadn’t been doing all of the things I’ve done, Ainsley would almost surely be losing weight. It really made me feel good to have someone give me a verbal pat on the back.
Oh, and it appears that my diet was not at fault, so I can slowly add new foods. I added oatmeal- made with water and sugar only- and it was sadly the most delicious taste I’ve had in a long time. A cool side effect of the blandness: my sense of smell is acutely heightened, and I was already very good at smelling things. Maybe because I don’t exude garlic odor, I can smell it more? And the same for other foods? My sister was drinking wine yesterday and I could identify the grape from a yard away from her glass. It’s kind of fun…unless someone has garlic breath. Ew.
Strike one: Russel Crowe’s in it. Strike two: I dislike Westerns, even everyone’s favorite, Unforgiven. I used to hate Westerns (and still kind of do) because of the fact that women are almost never portrayed in strong roles. I was irritated by the fact that every woman was a meek wife, a waitress/server type, or a whore. I’ve made my peace with the fact that this genre is not going to change and that it is about male bonding and man versus man/himself.
Being that this movie was already made once, I expected no different; it was true to genre. However, it was one of the better films I’ve seen this year. The pacing was spot-on: like a good symphony, it had balanced highs and lows instead of simple, full-on adrenaline. Dan Evans is a rancher who is struggling to make payments on his property. He has only been consistent at failure and is keenly aware of that fact. He backs away from his first confrontation with Ben Wade; however, as the film progresses, their relationship is that of equals. In fact, I would assert that Ben Wade feels that Evans is the better man, as evidenced in the film’s last scenes. The dialogue is complex without being stuffy. I would say the costuming is excellent, except the oddly fitted white leather jacket and fancy studded chaps on Charlie Prince. It was a strange touch that I feel will date the movie if watched in 20 years.
Critics had panned the ending as odd or wrong or, as Roeper said, “weird.” But I thought the ending perfectly befit the themes carried throughout. It showed the kind of man that Evans was and the kind of man that Wade respected (even if his show of respect was “weird”). I can’t say much more without spoiling.
I even (begrudgingly) admit that Russel Crowe was excellent.
If all you want is an action movie, 3:10 delivers; if you want to explore complex themes, this is still the movie for you.
[rate 4.5]
I feel like a sitcom. Attention: scatology to follow. Please do not read if it grosses you out like it does me.
Due to Ainsley’s dietary/GI issues, I had to collect a- shall we just say- sample from her diaper. It had to be tested within one hour. It’s not like she can tell me when she’s about to make a sample, so I have to hang around and wait. The lab tech suggested I line her diaper in cellophane. No thank you.
So I collect the sample (ew), redress and pack up the kid (mad about this upheaval of her usual daily routine), throw on some decent clothes (still nothing that fits but one pair of pants), and rush to the hospital lab. This is not an easy task! Then traffic was slow, a road was closed, and I had to navigate through a neighborhood to make it to the hospital where I’ve never been. There is NO parking nearby so I have to hike, carrying a baby, a long distance. The sky sends forth some sprinkles of rain just to keep me moving fast enough. I’m stopped by some very sweet, well-intentioned hospital welcome crew (like Wal-Mart greeters but nuns) who want to touch the baby and make her smile. Time is ticking by, so I rudely say I have to run (rude to nuns= going a hot place after death??). I find the lab, hand over the order, give them the sample, and let them know I called the lab and they said they didn’t need much. I was feeling very accomplished for making it there.
After a few minutes, they come back with two more biohazard collection cups. Apparently this test has to be run in triplicate (have they not heard of the Barr Decision?). I have to do this little madcap stunt two more times this week. Arg.
Meanwhile, her issues are not improving, despite my sadly bland diet and my nursing technique changes. I’m exhausted even though I’m sleeping at night and I can’t stop worrying. She was gaining weight OK then suddenly didn’t gain any weight last week, a very bad sign that things are worse. I know, I know, worrying helps no one. But I’m new at this and I would cut off my left arm (I write and draw left-handed) if it only meant she would be healthy.
Well, tonight is Heroes. I’m going to hang out with some friends and try to remember that Ainsley’s going to be OK.
Found out about an event from Hoosier Beer Geeks. Carlton and I have decided we want to attend this! Looks like reasonably priced delicious beer and inexpensive food, too. We can meet there, or I can designated-drive (sigh) from the South side. Seems like fun while we wait for my beer to brew. Who wants to go?
Many people buy wine or champagne to celebrate (including me). My Kentucky husband buys bourbon. There was a ton of hype for the A.H. Hirsch, so he splurged and purchased it. We decided to save it a few months and sip it to celebrate our new back porch and little Ainsley’s arrival. We did just that a couple of weeks ago.
While preparing the tasting tray, Sunny decided that surely there was food involved- so she hopped on the tray and parked herself until we moved her!
Instead of just sipping, we decided to compare it to our favorite premium bourbon, George T. Stagg uncut, and to our favorite lower-cost bourbon, Woodford Reserve. We expected the Stagg and Hirsch to be much stronger in flavor but wanted to use the Woodford as a “control.”
All of them were a standard one ounce over ice, with one ounce of Ty Nant still water to dilute. I wanted to use a little more water on the uncut Stagg, but I was overruled. We started with the Woodford (I hadn’t had bourbon of any kind in ten months, so I started slowly!). As always, it was smooth and clean, with a mild carmelized woodsiness that is perfectly sippable. Next, the Stagg.
It was toward the end of the bottle, and the Stagg had some carbon that made it into the glass, so the color was off. The aroma was thick and bursting with cherries. I tasted it- BLEH! It was definitely too strong. I swished some Pellegrino in the hopes of saving my palate from destruction. I haven’t had a stiff drink since before I was pregnant so I thought I might be losing my affection for bourbon. Oh no!
Finally, we tried the Hirsch. We sipped, swirled, sipped again. We cautiously looked at each other. My thought was…”that’s it?!?” We were both thinking the same thing.
The Hirsch was smooth, with a saltwater-limestone finish. Carlton identified a walnut flavor which I liked and he didn’t. It had little carmel or cherry character and tasted more like a salty (not peaty) scotch than a bourbon. We were nonplussed. I compared it to the Woodford directly. Woodford had more complex flavors than Hirsch but the same smoothness.
The result? We’ll save our precious income and buy 3 or 4 bottles of Woodford instead. Even a bottle of Stagg is more economical than Hirsch and, once we’d cut it with the right amount of water, was delicious with its pipe-tobacco overtones.
I think karma is trying to tell me not to have a party. I made a Nut Brown last week; a kit I’ve made before. When I tasted it, it seemed overly hoppy. Did I add the aroma hops too soon? It was pre-hopped malt, so it couldn’t be from over-extracting the hops. Then I realized I added almost a gallon too much water. SO stupid. Original specific gravity: 1.035 (should have been at least 1.044 if not overdiluted).
I was going to rack it while the Red Amber brewed today, but when I checked on it, the krausen had bubbled out of the airlock and the airlock barely had any liquid as a barrier. So I will rack it tomorrow and find out if it’s contaminated.
The Red Amber was also a pre-hopped kit. I made it without overdiluting (duh) and it went into the primary with no problem. SG = 1.045, well within range for this ale. I had Carlton taste it and…
What’s the deal? I didn’t even add aroma hops until the stove was off, not even for the last three minutes of the boil (as is standard). Maybe it will mellow. Who knows. But as of now, I have two very bitter beers. I was trying to brew crowd-pleaser beers. *sigh*
Besides all of this, I can’t even drink beer right now. It’s not on the SCWOB diet (thanks, Mymsie 🙂 ), so I’m sure I won’t have Oktoberfest until I can at least enjoy the brews. Novemberfest?
If there’s anything to enjoy. GRR!
Unrelated to the rest of the post: I love this weather. It’s dark, dreary and drizzly. The occasional thunderstorm is fun to watch too. My living room has a big window and Ainsley and I sit by it to read books and watch storms blow toward us.
If you read my last post, you know that my diet has become a big struggle for me. Ainsley is still having an allergic reaction to something I eat, including potential minor bleeding. So I had to go on a totally bland diet of:
That’s it. That’s all I can consume until we figure out her issue. It seems easier to just give up and feed her formula, but formula has its own issues. It can make her digestion problems worse. It can exacerbate the bleeding. The medical professionals with whom I’m consulting all say she’s better off nursing than switching to formula, so I’m staying the course. Meanwhile, I still think chicken is gross. If you don’t care about humane slaughter, then surely you care that current slaughter techniques may increase pathogenic contamination. Reading articles like this just makes it worse; now we’re studying them to see how much blood makes them look better in the grocery?
However, there is no alternate source of protein for me. She may have a soy allergy, a wheat allergy, or who knows what. I can’t have wine, dessert, oatmeal. Zip. It’s annoying. I don’t feel like cooking anything for Carlton because I hate looking at stuff I can’t eat or even taste. But totally 100% worth every bland bite (see photo at right!).
Oh, and shame on me- almost no walking. But I’m still dropping pounds. I would like to be not just thin, but also be fit, so hopefully my c-section recovery book will arrive soon.
I guess all of this watching my diet for the sake of the kid is working! I have only lost three pounds, but my pants already fit better. I think it is because I’m finally recovering from the surgery and I can suck in my stomach and have relatively good posture again.
On the down side, I have not been walking enough. I have been too tired to be motivated. I plan to reverse that pattern tonight!
For those who have noted my recent lack of posting/emailing them/calling, I regret to inform you that I have learned a new lesson the hard way.
Psst….
Being a parent is hard! I won’t bore you with the whining that any parent can tell you (so tired, no time for anything else). The last few days have been the hardest- I’m second-guessing myself at every turn. Some sources say to feed her 8-12 times daily; others say as few as six. Some say to let her cry; others say never. Pacifier? No pacifier? Will this blanket accidentally smother her? Are the carseat straps tight enough but without hurting her? It’s an information overload and everything I do is considered right by at least one source…and dead wrong by at least one more. But the big issue is that Ainsley’s allergic to something I’m eating and I have to slowly eliminate everything to figure out the cause. First was dairy; I’d been limiting my dairy intake from the day of her birth, so it was just one more step to completely stop (goodbye, delicious butter and cream, I shall miss you). Now it’s soy, too, and if that doesn’t work, all citrus.
Dairy had been a major protein source throughout my pregnancy; losing soy meant losing my new main protein source. I was depressed. I’d been so proud of my healthful low-to-no meat diet, and I simply couldn’t be sure Ainsley had enough of the right nutrients with no dairy or soy. I called a friend who’s been vegetarian for 19 years and vegan for five. I begged for advice on what to eat. He gave me some great ideas, but also helped me feel comfortable with the fact I might have to just eat some meat and get over myself already.
Seriously, I am fine with eating some meat if it means that we can fix this food allergy problem and if it means Ainsley and I have enough protein. I was just so proud of my dietary changes and it felt like backsliding at first. Being a total vegetarian is not something I thought I’d ever accomplish, but I was proud of how far I’d come, from meat-centric fatty dinners to healthful fruits, grains, and vegetables at the core of most meals. But nothing trumps doing the right thing for Ainsley so I will have a little animal protein more often. I was only eating fish, but I can’t eat too much due to mercury, …it’s all tiring and easy to overthink.
Well, you see the point. Oh, and enjoy the latest baby picture.
