Stay Back 500 Feet or Else

I drove to the North side Monday for my doctor’s appointments, so I had some time to be irritated by the vehicles on the road. Am I the only one who hates these things? Those stickers say “STAY BACK 500 FEET” and “NOT LIABLE FOR DAMAGE.”

Ok, first of all, 500 feet at 10 mph is not the same as at 60 mph. If I even tried to stay back that far on city streets, someone would rear-end me out of crazy, annoyed spite. Second, what if the truck is going 60 mph on the highway? The debris shower doesn’t stay neatly in one lane. Must all three lanes stay back 500 feet? And what if the oafish truck is crawling along under the speed limit? Is anyone allowed to pass?

And while I’m at it, how can they say they aren’t liable for damage? At least the black truck had netting over the gravel, but many trucks don’t, and they spit gravel, dirt, rocks, twigs all over the road and in a shower over vehicles with the slightest wind. May I put a sticker on my car that says “not responsible for speeding, I had too much coffee and have a lead foot?” or “not liable for crashing into your car, I have road rage issues?” I must also note that these silly stickers cannot even be read unless one is within 100 feet of these noise-and-air-pollution-belching trucks.

If I leave debris at the side of the road and someone else has to deal with it, I have to pay hundreds of dollars in fines. These trucks litter all kinds of junk all over the road. I’m guessing these inconsiderate companies are forking over tons of extra cash for all of the punctured tires and the state-financed road cleanup crews. HA HA HA

Finally, I think I’ll buy thousands of these and stick it on everyone’s car, then have everyone go five mph right in front of one of these blasted trucks. Let the gridlock commence!