It’s my first official Mother’s Day. However, last year, I was already 6 months pregnant and let me tell you, being a mom was already affecting me.
What strikes me most is how much more I value my own mom. She’s always been great and I have always been good friends with her. I guess I just didn’t realize the depth of her sacrifices and how hard this job really is. She is such a smart and wonderful person and she raised three kids in some very difficult times.
Finally, and this is the hard part…I guess I don’t feel like that great of a mom. I feel like I do the minimum required. Yes, I read to her and I make her food and I keep her safe, but I thought that I’d feel much more satisfied with my own performance. When I make a meal, I can pretty objectively tell if it’s any good. True, my daughter isn’t a plate of nachos, but I think what I’m saying is that I am usually a decent judge of how I’m doing.
So the fact that I’m so blah about my performance makes me think I really am just doing the minimum. I wish I thought I were a great mom like everyone says I am. But I feel more like the one who lives in mediocrity. Is it OK to give her salty crackers? Will too much cow’s milk (once she turns one year old) cause hormone problems? Can I give her anxiety if I keep her room too neat? Am I spoiling her with all the applesauce when I’m too tired to put forth the effort to feed her avocado? Does she need a bath more often? Will she wish she had a different mommy?
I guess that’s all. I realize this post is quite a downer compared to most, and I almost didn’t post it. But it’s true and so I’m clicking “publish.”
You give me anxiety by keeping your house too neat! 🙂
Here, I found a T-shirt for A that would make you laugh if it didn’t gross you out:
Just the fact that you’re even thinking about stuff like this means that you’re a very good, self-aware Mama.
There is no one one method to being the perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a good one. Parents with less than half the intellect of you and your husband do just fine raising kids, so you should worry less about what you think that you should be worrying about (that didn’t come out so clear, did it?). Personally, I think your salt-water fish tank and your home brewing system require more precision than raising a child. Parenting is not an exact science. It’s more of an art form in which the work in progress takes roughly 18 years. So try to relax and enjoy yourself. Now as for your questions:
KNH: “Is it OK to give her salty crackers?”
I think so. Let’s check out the Old Testament:
“Can that which is unsavoury be eaten without salt?” Job 6:6
“With all thine offerings thou shalt offer salt.” Lev 2:13
KNH: “Will too much cow’s milk (once she turns one year old) cause hormone problems?”
I doubt it, but I thought you were buying fake milk anyway?
KNH: “Can I give her anxiety if I keep her room too neat?”
Not if being a neat freak is genetic. She probably has the gene already, but won’t manifest the behavior until later on.
KNH: “Am I spoiling her with all the applesauce when I’m too tired to put forth the effort to feed her avocado?”
I vote for the applesauce. Avocado? BLECH!
KNH: “Does she need a bath more often?”
Not unless she’s wallowing in mud puddles or using the avocado for a do-it-yourself spa facial.
KNH: “Will she wish she had a different mommy?”
Not for year! When she’s thirteen and announces that she wants to start dating and you say no, maybe then.
You are a great mom. The fact that you are worried that you are not proves that you are. Thus correlation and causation validate my assertion.
Don’t worry so much. Have fun and enjoy every moment you spend with our little girl.
Thanks, guys. I wasn’t comment-fishing, but you really helped me.