I tell everyone I’m a jack of all trades master of none, but people still seem to think I can do everything. I am here to tell you I can barely find time for all my hobbies…something has to suffer. Exhibit A:

Yes, that’s my pumpkin. From OCTOBER. A friend of mine wanted to carve pumpkins in mid October, so we did. Cute, huh? Yes, well, then I sort of let it sit on the porch for six weeks. The lid isn’t missing; it rotted into the inside. Please note the large festering boil by its right eye. And the inside isn’t black from shadows, either: that’s mold.

Wonder Woman I ain’t.